Venice Week-end 18-20 Nov 2005
Welcome to paradise ! But, I need to decide whether I found the city paradisque or not.
I started my journey on 18th November from
1. To get some rest from stressful life of
2. To meet an uncle (my dad’s childhood friend) who was coincidently in
1 Comments:
I have enjoyed very much reading all the posts on your blog. I will be making some comments that I hope you will find "constructive" when it comes to developing a writing style.
These wonderful photographs convince me that you found the escape and rest that you were looking for in your first reason listed below. The quiet and empty canals depicted in them seem to me to be a complete contrast to what I presume is the hectic pace of urban traffic and the hustle and bustle of life on the city streets of Paris. But I noticed you did not list photography in your profile and thus I suggest that you update it. Without doubt you do have an artist's eye for composition and balance.
I find the title you have chosen interesting because it conveys your feelings about arriving in Venice. Most folks consider "paradise" to be found in naturally beautiful parts of the world that yet to marred by block on block of buildings and structures and teaming mobs of humanity scuttling through them like mice in a maze.
As well as your title coveying your feelings it also tells me that you are a person who lives an urban lifestyle. No person of the countryside who chooses to embrace and celebrate a rural, bucholic, pastoral or tropical, nature-based lifestyle (as I do)would decribe a man-made city no matter how historical, beautiful and interesting as "paradise". Thus your title is a good choice for conveying to your readers both where you were coming from and what you felt when you got there.
I sense that your senses (visual, auditory, etc.) and your inner self were very much at ease in Venice and that any anxiety that you brought with you slipped away. I'm somewhat disappointed that you didn't say something to this effect so I could fee reassured as a reader that what I can experience only through one sense the "eye-gate" was correct.
I believe we write with the purpose of sharing our journeys and as it's our deep seated intention to take our readers with us there are simple devices we can use.
We can close our eyes for a few moments prior to writing each paragraph or sentence and recall all the information that flowed to our senses back then. Doing so enables us as writers to include a description of the responses of our senses to the places we visit and to describe our "experience" in a way readers can experience too.
Judging from your photographs I believe you deep probably found yourself breathing very deep sighs of relief while travelling on the canals of Vencie. I assume that as there is such a lack of marine traffic on the canals that you probably also experienced a feeling of expansiveness physical, an escape from the stiff neck and shoulders caused by the angst we feel when we are elbow to elbow with mobs of people, streams of smelly motor vehicles and the noise that goes all with that activity.
I am commenting that you could choose to improve my experience as a reader of taking this journey with you if you edited your posts by recalling what you your senses experienced on your adventure and injected a sentence or two recounting them into each post.
For example, didn't your ears rejoice when they sensed the lack of customary urban noise pollution? Did you feel your neck lengthen and jaw slacken due to the lack of stress and self protective postures we unconsciously assume when under urban assault? And was there a smell associated with the canal water with flowers blooming, etc.?
Urban living dulls our responses to our human senses. We become so habitually over stimulated that we assume postures indicating we are retreating from the very life we are living.
Never hesitate to share your inner experience with your readers as well. For example, if you did feel your body relax the was the followed by a feeling of inner lightness, happiness, joy, contentment or even sadness or sorrow?
I hope you will form an online friendship with me. I believe IT probably stands for Internet Technician and as I'm new to computers and blogging I would appreciate finding a mentor. In return I believe I can offer you some advice about writing in a way that takes the reader along for the ride.
Respectfully, Salal
April 19, 2006
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